It's our anniversary......Tony Toni Tone
On June 15, 1996 in the church that I attended since I was 5 years old, there was a loud gong of the church bell and the procession began to my new life with my husband, Spencer. In that moment to clear the jitters, my dad quietly whispered, "if you cry, I'll punch you in the face". Laughter emerged and the festivities commenced.
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This day I marry my friend, the one I live for laugh with dream with love." What a day it was! My aces: Karen, Elise Tina , Seana and Esi stood by my side and my sorority sister Natalie blessed us with the most beautiful praise dance that symbolized our commitment. Then the party began! Let me paint one of my most memorable moments from the reception...after the band finished it's set, the dj, my high school friend Clemont, spins our favorite songs on the wheels of steel, including my new husband's single "Tried by 12". All of a sudden you hear the hypnotizing beat of "The Big Payback" accompanied by Total, "
Can't you see what you mean to me our love was meant to be you were made for me..."Spencer and I dance across the room to the middle of the floor and rock out in a way that would make Diddy proud.
15 years and 2 children later what a journey it has been. I've learned and grown so much over the years...While we enjoyed the day, designing a life together has been where the rubber meets the road.
So what are the secrets of our success? Glad you asked....
Our faith...1 year after we walked down the aisle, I walked down to the platform at Christian Life Center and submitted my life to Christ. While I grew up in the Catholic Church, my spirit was drawn that day and my life was changed. So much wisdom I've gained through my pastor A.R. Bernard and his lovely wife Karen. Married over 30 years, they have generously shared the truth of what marriage is all about. The joys and it's sorrows, its triumphs and obstacles. To paraphrase, marriage is the one relationship where we are vulnerable because we grow right in front of someone else. Ain't that the truth! When we needed wise counsel, Minister Onorio was there to guide us back to each other when we seemed so far away.
Our support network...Surround yourself by positive people who support marriage. Our family and close friends have truly stood by our side through the years. It's so good to have a counselor in the family! My sister Karen and my brother-in-law married 18 years have shared some timeless truths and helped me sort through things when they felt overwhelming.
Watch your tongue. Speak only in truth and love. Use your words to build up, not tear down. You can't take back what you say so use your words wisely. After 15 years, communication is one of our biggest challenges but our commitment to working at will only make it better.
After God, keep your marriage first- don't let parenting or the busyness of life take you away from your first love. Schedule regular date nights to make sure you stay connected.
It's been a wonderful journey and I'm looking forward to our silver 25th anniversary when our children will be old enough to celebrate us:) Black love truly reigns supreme! Believe it!
